opinion

My coaching ethos: become who you are

I recently had the opportunity to make a micro-presentation on my coaching approach to a group of internationally-based leaders. One of the points I emphasised was my belief that we all deliver our best by being who we are – and for most of us that means learning how to become who we are.

My belief comes from long experience of working with leaders who struggle to meet the models that other people expect them to conform to, and who feel liberated when they experience the ease – and for many, a personal peace – that comes with accepting and embracing that they are who they are. They invariably experience a parallel energy, even exhilaration, and a focus that mean that they leverage their strengths with courage and assertiveness, communicate powerfully on what matters to them, and – fascinatingly – empower their teams to deliver authentically on the vision they’ve communicated.

Leaders who could deliver more

After my presentation a member of the audience approached me, saying she’d been moved by what I’d said, and asking if I could let her have any material from which she could learn more about the topic. Something about her reminded me of leaders I’ve coached in the past who felt stuck, or daunted, or anxious about the leadership agenda facing them. People who knew they had the potential to deliver more as leaders but didn’t know how: they just knew that another training course probably wasn’t going to be enough.

The link between authenticity and leadership

As children we all occupy our authentic selves: we say what we mean, we follow the directions in which our interests take us, we accept our mistakes as part of everyday life without judging ourselves to be lacking or failing in some respect, and we get excited and joyful. We have an instinctive sense of self-care.

As we grow, we tend to take more and more account of other people’s judgments, and sometimes we can allow what matters to us to be clouded so that our own values are compromised. We can lose our joy in life and work. And we can get out of touch with the meaning of our lives and the place of work in that. Our communication may lack power because it lacks integrity. Some of us lose touch with self-care.

The more we are playing a role, the less compelling our communications, and the less inspiring we become. We become more preoccupied with the appearance than with the reality of who we are.

The quality of authentic leadership

My hope for the leader who approached me is that she will set out on a journey of discovery that will lead her to see, understand, accept, and engage with what matters to her, what drives and energises her, and what and who inspire her – and that she will, in the process, not only be the best leader she can be and engage others in her vision and her integrity, but also inspire her team, and their teams, to be the best they can be too.

Photo by Hamed Saber via Compfight

The authentic leader

We all deliver our best by being who we are – and for most of us that means learning how to become who we are. Leaders who accept and embrace their authenticity often find both personal peace and an energy and focus that means they leverage their strengths with courage and assertiveness and empower their teams to deliver authentically too.

Leaders in the firing line: on integrity, commitment and passion

I’m privileged to be coaching UNICEF leaders again. They need a challenging blend of mastery of people skills, diplomatic skills, technical skills, knowledge, vision, initiative, adaptability, resilience and endurance. Stress levels are high, and the most basic resources in their environments are often lacking. Their integrity and their passion for their cause – the promotion and defence of children’s rights, survival, security and protection – are dazzling and humbling. It’s unbelievably inspiring and energising to be working with them.

Trust: a critical element of leadership

Trust is a key enabler to getting the results that organisations need. Leaders need to nurture relationships at work and need to be able to trust their teams. And their teams need to be able to trust them too. One of the outcomes of development of this kind is that leaders find themselves getting more from their teams without much apparent effort. They find that the members of those teams take more initiative and more responsibility,

Approaching the finishing line of the 30 Day Challenge

The 30 Day Challenge draws to a close. I've been challenged, supported, and held accountable, and I've gained some insights. I'm learning about blogging - and about topics I'd never anticipated - and I'm surprised at how much I'm enjoying the blogging process. I'm on the alert for topics to blog about - and now that I'm blogging twice a week, I feel 'in the groove'. My next step is to ensure that my blog is read and to build a readership.

Connect!

My core message is ‘Connect’ – make relationships and nurture them. When people connect, they care enough to hear what’s going on for the other person without judging it, pre-empting, advising or interrupting: they just listen. Out of that apparently simple interaction new perspectives, insights and solutions can emerge.

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