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Fear and courage

Fear and courage are intertwined when it comes to leadership of self and others. Fear is inevitable and – if unchecked – inhibits and erodes performance, versatility and the creativity that can be crucial to address the challenge, complexity and uncertainty that are constants in the life of leaders.

Courage isn’t inevitable, but it’s an invaluable resource when fear is present.

The fundamental fear

Amongst the most fundamental – if not the most fundamental – fear is the existential fear around survival: ‘Will I survive this challenge emotionally / psychologically / in terms of continuing to support my family financially / in terms of assuring my career?’. That fear is visceral, and plugs in to the most primitive of our responses. If it sustains, it elicits a prolonged adrenalin rush which puts the brain on constant high alert and accounts for ongoing stress. It’s incompatible with sustaining health and wellbeing.

Fear of the unknown

Fear of the unknown is linked to fear of the capacity to deal with the unknown. A client I was working with knew rationally that she needed to move on from her current role: the field had evolved politically and technically to a point where she felt she had no place. Moving on meant the surrender of any assured future in this kind of role ever again – and this, in turn, meant surrendering her attachment to the sense of identity that came from that role and from her investment in it over the last two decades. While she knew that her departure made sense rationally, the fear of giving up her current sense of identity, and her fear of the unknown, were overwhelming and immobilising for her.

I’ve worked with organisations which claim to be innovative, but whose lived behaviours demonstrate a fear of stepping into the unknown, and who in fact stay firmly where they are in terms of the behaviours and attitudes that could create change. It looks like they don’t have the courage to create change.

Fear of inadequacy

Feeding into fear of the unknown and fear of failure is the fear of being, or being judged as, inadequate by self or by others. Fear of loss of status may be closely connected: ‘If I’m perceived as inadequate, what will that mean for what I’m worth in the world?’. What if I’m just not up to the mark?’ That can be both very painful and very confronting – and it’s also rich territory for rumination and catastrophising, which can act as brakes on performance and effectiveness.

Fear of not belonging

Arguably the greatest human need is the need to belong. The fear of not fitting in is therefore very powerful, but equally can be frightening when belonging means compromising on personal values or being dependent on others’ decisions, especially when the basis of those decisions is unclear or inconsistent or unpredictable.

Courage can be a resource

Courage is a significant resource for the leader experiencing fear. Perversely, of course, courage can be exactly what’s lacking in the presence of fear – but it can be nurtured. It can also become irrelevant when the leader understands and engages with their passion and their purpose – the passion and purpose that energise them and give them the lighthouse beam that can help to guide them home. Both passion and purpose can, in turn, be released when leaders grow their awareness of their values and how those values serve their capacity to flourish.

Courage and psychological safety

Courage also grows in the presence of a psychologically safe environment where mutual trust is a given. In my client organisations I’ve witnessed transformations in teams which build their psychological safety and which therefore tread courageously into new territory that previously might have been experienced as impossibly risky. That courage emerges when people find their flow: it helps enable them to contribute more than they (and their organisations) had dreamed of.

Courage enables vulnerability. This is a two-way street: courage is also born out of vulnerability. According to Brene Brown (Research Professor at the University of Houston): ‘Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love’ – all of which can help to counter fear. Fascinatingly, vulnerability also increases a sense of self-worth, which can be a significant benefit when fear is around.

Finding courage when you need it

How to find courage when you need it, especially in the absence of trust and safety? Shape an experiment – just one small step – to build trust and safety for yourself. Trust yourself a little more, for example. Learn, experiment again with a small change, keep learning, and keep experimenting. And consider this poem ‘Come to the Edge’ by Christopher Logue.

“Come to the edge.”

We might fall.

“Come to the edge.”

It’s too high!

“Come to the edge.”

And they came,

and we pushed,

And they flew.

^{Photo by: Sammie Chaffin}

Fear and courage

Fear and courage are intertwined when it comes to leadership of self and others. Fear is inevitable and - if unchecked - inhibits and erodes performance, versatility and the creativity that can be crucial to address the challenge, complexity and uncertainty that are constants in the life of leaders. Courage isn’t inevitable, but it’s an invaluable resource when fear is present. Learn, experiment again with a small change in courage, keep learning, and keep experimenting.

The impact of kindness and compassion

The news emerged that Dame Clare Marx, Chair of the General Medical Council, was stepping down from her post, having been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She reflects on her career that ‘in my happiest moments, I felt respected, valued and listened to. I felt I belonged’. Her wish is that ‘every doctor and every patient experiences the compassion that defines first-class care’. It’s the humanity between colleagues and by leaders that can evoke either distress or joy, isolation or feeling part of something bigger. How would it be if all of us, as leaders, spent just a couple of minutes each day being aware and conscious of compassion, kindness and listening? Awareness is the crucial starting point for change.

Power and the leader

One of the most striking features of power is, it seems to me, how multi-faceted the topic is – and how richly the facets interrelate and intersect and interdepend. There are many and varied implications for the exercise of leadership, and leaders can benefit from reflecting on these. For instance, a variety of perspectives are afforded by looking at ‘my’ power, ‘your’ power, ‘our’ power, and the power in and of the system. Further, within each of these comes the contrast between personal power, the power afforded by title or status, and the nuances of the perception of power that arise in the presence or absence of fear or shame. power can be ‘power over’ or ‘power with’ – and the latter implies more sustainability through relationship and connection. Power, courage and compassion can go hand in hand.

Integrity and power

The client’s terms of engagement transgressed my own deepest values, including integrity. This kind of behaviour on the part of consultancies seems widespread. Further, the attendant disservice to the ultimate end user stems from the enforced compromise of professional integrity, and the imbalance of power is experienced by many of their associates to be abusive. As professionals, are we prepared to tolerate this kind of attitude, behaviour and lack of integrity inherent in the contracting from so many perspectives? Are we really powerless or can we find ways to bring our power respectfully to a rebalancing that will be in all our interests?

Peace, ease and fulfilment

I accept that it may make no sense to juxtapose a street sweeper's relatively simple situation with my clients’ complex roles and environments. On the other hand, I’m very curious about how leaders conceive of their responsibility (and opportunity) to design and embed working lives for themselves, their peers and their reports which release greater peace, trust, ease and fulfilment - and thus greater effectiveness. More than that, I worry about their health, their wellbeing and their longevity if leaders don't take that responsibility.

Integrity, safety and wellbeing

I’ve just done something I’ve never done before: I’ve handed back a 4-year contract. At the heart of my decision was an inability to tolerate a client’s terms of engagement – both the formal, explicit terms, and the informal, implicit terms. My deepest values (integrity, professionalism, honesty, care for the coachee experience, respect, acknowledgment, being heard) were compromised. I felt deeply unsafe: my trust in the client was entirely absent. What was happening was moral injury, and the experience was threatening my wellbeing by demanding that I don’t behave in integrity – and I can only maintain my wellbeing if I’m behaving in integrity. I’ve learnt too that doing what matters deeply to me is a significant enabler of tough decisions and tough actions.

'I' or 'we' as a model for leadership?

What happens when a leader or a nation sees the future not through a lens of relationship, action and impact, but through a lens of isolation, cutting off supply routes of collaboration and support? Is this the model of leadership that we really need? ‘You’ and ‘yours’ can actually be the route to ‘me’ and ‘mine’ if only we choose to look through a broader lens. As a coach, I may enquire with a coaching client more explicitly into the implications of ‘I and we’ in contrast with ‘I or we’, at individual level, team level, organisation level and beyond. Putting ‘I’ before ‘we’ risks shutting off not only precious resources but also risks shutting off precious rewards. ‘We’ before ‘I’ might lead to rewards we hadn’t dreamed of.

Coaching through COVID and BMJ Leader

I'm privileged to have had a blog published in BMJ Leader, published in BMJ Leader, one of the publications in the BMJ (British Medical Journal) stable. The blog focuses on the very particular leadership style that characterises Coaching through COVID, the pro bono coaching programme for NHS and care sector staff who are directly impacted by COVID, and particularly those who don't nomally have access to coaching, from doctors and nurses to porters, cleaners, pharmacists, physiotherapists and many others, who are experiencing anxiety, uncertainty, threats to their personal safety and that of their families from contracting COVID-19, distress, trauma, exhaustion and much else.

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