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Leaders at the peak of their careers

I have the privilege of working with some very high achievers in a variety of fields and functions. I meet them at different points in their careers – sometimes they’re on their way to the top, sometimes they’re at the top, sometimes they’re on their way down from the top.

The pressure of expectation

Leaders who are at the peak of their careers – while anticipating or indeed experiencing the fulfilment of achievement – rarely tell me they passionately love their jobs. They are frequently lonely, isolated and lacking the safety of honest conversations. They feel deeply the pressure of expectation: the higher they have flown, the higher and more intense the organisation’s expectations of them. There are frequently very high expectations in the push towards achieving ever-higher targets, with the corresponding threat of personal, career or commercial penalties if those targets are not reached.

Leaders who focus on their own careers

Some leaders hunker down and focus almost exclusively on developing their own careers, sometimes to the exclusion of those they lead: they make it their mission to develop their unquestioning allegiance to the boss, in the belief that gaining approval from that quarter will enable the next step on their own career ladder. In the process they may leave behind those they lead, who therefore miss out on the engagement they need from their boss in order to fulfil organisational agendas, especially when challenges arise. So the loneliness is transferred downwards.

Rapid promotion can mean less personal clarity

Other leaders may be recognised through rapid promotion, finding themselves dealing with increasingly complex pressure, making significant decisions in climates of considerable uncertainty, but with inadequate opportunity amid the intensity of that pressure and complexity to have safe conversations in which to maintain or create clarity about what they really want to do.

Confidence and courage may retreat

Ironically, confidence may be impacted for the worse. This can happen when the individual has been recognised as a high achiever, but in developing their impact through collaboration, they may diminish qualities such as courage, and may find themselves reluctant to bring forward fresh, brave ideas. They may even be fearful of their own success, which could disrupt the anticipated path to the organisation’s success.

The sacrifices in reaching the peak

And, of course, there are those who have made huge sacrifices – personal, emotional and physical – to get to the dizzy heights. At a certain point they admit to themselves the toll that this has taken but they are too depleted to engage with the choices they could otherwise give themselves.

The search for self

At some point for leaders in all such situations, the need and search for ‘self’ becomes imperative. They need to rediscover – or indeed discover – themselves in order to articulate their choices and manage those choices. They realise they can reduce the loneliness first by articulating and sharing ‘what is’ with a compassionate yet challenging coach with whom they feel safe, connected and trusting, and who has no vested interest in their outcomes. As a result of that, they can make a greater connection with themselves, acknowledge what they need, establish a different kind of connection with their environments and their relationships, and find personal peace – a coaching outcome which increasingly clients are telling me they value and aspire to.

Personal peace

Personal peace can mean loneliness has been left behind, and a greater sense of possibility has been embraced. This can offer a firm base from which to build the next steps in a career of high achievement.

Photo by txindoki via Compfight

The loneliness of the long distance runner

Leaders who are at the peak of their careers, while anticipating or indeed experiencing the fulfilment of achievement, are frequently lonely, isolated and lacking the safety of honest conversations. They feel deeply the pressure of expectation. They have inadequate opportunity amid the intensity of pressure and complexity to have safe conversations in which to maintain or create clarity about what they really want to do. At some point for leaders in all such situations, the need and search for ‘self’ becomes imperative: they need to rediscover - or indeed discover – themselves in order to articulate their choices and manage those choices. They realise they can reduce the loneliness by articulating and sharing ‘what is’ with a compassionate yet challenging coach with whom they feel safe, connected and trusting, and who has no vested interest in their challenge.

Influencing through compassion

The need for the leader and the manager to influence effectively has always been important. Now, however, their contexts are becoming more uncertain and more challenging. I’m coming across more instances of lack of integrity at senior levels, and this poses a dilemma for the leader who wants to stand up for either the values which their organisation claims or for their own values. I'm finding that an approach for them which embraces compassion – for themselves and for others – can make all the difference.

Trust and safety in coaching

My article 'Trust and safety in coaching' has been published in the September edition of Coaching at Work. When a client trusts their coach they can feel safe enough to engage with their inner world - and a certain kind of magic can happen. The richness of both dialogue and data that is enabled by deep trust can uniquely empower the client to face difficult or energising truths, and can also stretch the boundaries of what they'd previously thought was possible.

Seeking purpose - and being part of the whole

Albert Einstein wrote: "A human being is part of a whole, called by us the 'Universe,' a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us…” This resonates for me as I coach talented senior people who create stellar careers. Some of them realise they feel restricted because their lives don’t integrate what really matters to them. They start asking 'What’s my purpose in getting to the top?’ rather than ‘How can I get to the top?’. This is rich and fertile territory for coaching, which enables an individual, in a risk-free environment, to explore, surface, clarify and articulate what meaning and purpose is for them and to become connected to the bigger whole.

Trapped in the detail

The remit of leaders is to develop and drive strategy, and to inspire its implementation. However, those in leadership roles can find themselves trapped in the detail of the operational. If they’re inappropriately involved in these areas, their teams will lack the bigger sense of direction, perspective and focus they need. The first important step for the leader is to realise that change needs to happen, and each will find their own way of implementing that change - perhaps through mindfully reviewing old loyalties to ideas and people, or surfacing wilful blindness, or speaking truth to power. Courage and resilience are fundamental to the change that's needed, along with self-awareness and systemic awareness.

Confidence on the coaching agenda

Confidence is the result of resolving or settling issues which may be related to identity, belonging, self-esteem, self-acceptance, resilience, the culture of the client’s organisation, or indeed countless other issues which interrelate, intersect and are interdependent. It manifests in a host of different ways, including effectiveness, efficiency, assertiveness, finding one’s voice, creativity, more balanced relationships, the resolution of conflict, respect and care for one’s own wellbeing, a reduction in stress, and a sense of personal peace. Leaders who constantly build the confidence of their people see that its relationship with the successful release of potential is direct and significant.

Parallel or converging?

My article 'Parallel or converging?', published in the May/June 2019 edition of Coaching at Work, takes a geometrical look at how I interpret my own experience, the client's wellbeing, and the importance of neither projecting onto the client, nor converging nor colluding nor getting drawn in to a parllel process.

Burning out - and recovering health

I’m coaching two individuals who are on the verge of burning out. Both are hugely committed to their jobs and their organisations, both are talented, and both are high achievers. And no-one in their workplaces has looked beyond their stellar performance or considered what it costs them on a personal basis to deliver that level of performance. No-one has guided them back towards a healthy way of working. A first useful step for them is to engage with, and accept, the tricky task of facing the truth of what is happening. And the second step is a visit to the GP or to Occupational Health.

Why don't you hear me?

Talented people may feel a sense of isolation – lonely (nearly) at the top of their organisations - either because their perceived currency has diminished, or because it has been inconvenient to hear them, or because established hierarchies and power structures don’t allow their voices to be heard and their true value to be released. There is no simple, linear solution: the answer lies in a blend of self-awareness, mindfulness, systemic awareness, finding your voice, multiple perspectives to broaden your thinking, and listening to your intuition and your wisdom.

The end and the beginning

My article 'The end and the beginning' - Coaching at Work's reflection column in the March/April issue - takes as its context the Buddhist wisdom that what the caterpillar perceives as the end, to the butterfly is just the beginning. I consider my contrasting experience in working with, on the one hand, clients who have real energy for change, and, on the other, clients who resist change. Both endings and beginnings need respect for their time and their process.

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