blog

A sense of belonging is associated with wellbeing

The deepest human need is to belong.

Research evidence demonstrates that a strong sense of belonging and connectedness is positively associated with wellbeing, happiness and mental health. Feelings of belonging are understood to influence an individual’s identity and the extent to which they feel accepted, respected, valued for who they are, and experiencing a level of supportive energy and commitment from others, so that they are able to take on a role in society.

The pluses of belonging – and the minuses of not belonging

Our belonging shows up in how we seek out the company of people who think like us, and with whom we feel a sense of approval for thinking like them: they make the same kind of value judgments as we do. When we feel we belong, we have a sense of strong relationships, safety, security and trust – of being ‘home’ and included, and often of a sense of capability.

We have a variety of groups with whom we feel we belong – at work, in our families, amongst our friends, in the interest groups we are part of, and in our religious and political groups.

When we have a sense of not belonging and not being able to trust our group, we risk loneliness, a sense of not being accepted for who we are, and the stress and anxiety that come through not being able to trust the people around us. This can manifest in agitation, withdrawal, physical conditions such as eczema, difficulty in sleeping, lack of ability to focus or concentrate, difficulty in building or sustaining relationships, obsessive physical activity – and in a work context, overwork, low levels of productivity, engagement and effectiveness.

Belonging, exclusion – and outcomes

While it may not be on the leader’s job description to notice those of their reports who lack a sense of belonging at work, it may nevertheless explain differences in levels of performance, participation and effectiveness. Cliques and tighly-knit groups are another way in which people seek and preserve their sense of belonging. With such groups there’s a risk of exclusion too, if they’re not open enough to diversity of all kinds – state of health, gender, job grade, ethnicity, colour…

What often binds groups together is a sense of shared values: as a leader are you consciously aware of the values that your group holds? Do you feel you belong? What is the outcome of that sense of belonging: what does it enable, and as leader, what now do you want to create from that outcome?

Photo by Tom Driggers via Compfight

A sense of belonging

The deepest human need is to belong. A strong sense of belonging and connectedness is positively associated with wellbeing, happiness and mental health. Feelings of belonging are understood to influence an individual’s identity and the extent to which they feel accepted, respected, valued for who they are - and these feelings in turn, by strengthening relationships, impact on engagement, effectiveness and productivity

Dancing with fear: my latest article in Coaching at Work

Several of the senior leaders I work with are frightened. Not only is the fear corrosive at a personal level in terms of wellbeing, stress, confidence and shame, but it also inhibits performance and can have serious effects for organisations when individuals are afraid to innovate despite a business need to do things differently, or when they don't dare to say what's true. Coaching systemically and mindfully resources both the client and me - and the more I engage at a deep level with my own courage, resilience, capability, connectedness and resources, the less frightening life may be for the client.

Confidence, effectiveness and systems

Confidence that is depleted – which often results from an individual interpreting an external event or behaviour, and believing (albeit unconsciously) the message that they construct from it – leads very easily to effectiveness that is depleted. Looking outwards from the individual into their environment and the systems of relationships they are part of is often a more elegant and rapid process, offering more sustained and richer outcomes for rebuilding and re-resourcing, than cognitive approaches.

In the swim of things: my latest article in Coaching at Work

Some of my coaching clients have difficulty staying upright in the stream of their organisational cultures, especially when they aren't aligned with the values or behaviours in those cultures: their difficulty lies in being different, even though that may be exactly why they were recruited in the first place. This can cause significant stress.

Stress, relationships and business results

Line managers can unwittingly create damaging stress in the relationships they have with their reports. This can come from their modelling themselves against others whose values they don't share - and once they allow themselves to be their authentic selves their working relationships can be transformed. Systemic coaching blended with comfort working with mental health issues can resource the client in valuable ways.

Leadership in professional service firms

Leadership is particularly complex and demanding in professional service firms such as law and accountancy. In such firms not only is profit generated through each fee-earner's billable hours, but the distribution and clarity of power is less clear, more diffuse and less demarcated than in other organisations. Leadership is an ambiguous matter of high autonomy and yet often high consensus.

Do you know when to stop? My latest article in Coaching at Work

When is coaching actually performance management? My reflection column in the May issue of Coaching at Work explores my experience that there’s no clear, constant, easily-definable line between the two.

A Bigger Conversation

Relationships - between people, and between people and events, behaviours, beliefs, cultures and outputs - are the key to organisational health. Sometimes skilled, capable and experienced leaders don't seem fully able to occupy their authority, sometimes the same challenge seems to recur repeatedly. Such challenges may require a Bigger Conversation: a conversation that addresses not just individuals or individual issues, but which sees them as an ecosystem.

Influence, impact and culture change: a systemic view

When a new broom comes in to a senior role with high expectations, but is inexplicably unable to occupy their authority, the situation can benefit from a systemic constellations perspective. This means looking at what might have been ignored in the organisation’s remembering, what or who might have been excluded or unacknowledged - and especially what might not have been acknowledged about the contribution of a previous occupant of the role. Energy is then released and the leader is freed up to do what they do best.

Letting go of knowing: new article in 'Coaching at Work'

Clients and potential clients respond with more energy to their experience of how I am than to what I know - and equally, who I am, and how my ‘being’ shows up, have a significantly greater impact on my coaching than what I do.

blog

Recent Posts